Why did God make people with Down’s Syndrome?

There are two stories: Carol Frient’s son Jacob and Joe & Sharon Olson’s son Matthew.

My friend Jim Frient sent me a letter from, Carol, his Sister-in-law.  His brother Jack died from cancer 1n 2018.  They had 11 children.  Eight of their own and three adopted children with special needs.  The adopted children are still living at home.  Two are blind and Jacob who has downs syndrome of whom this story is written.  In Carol and Jack, God made very devout people who tried to live as Christ lived.  I am sure Carol could share many stories about any of her children, but she thought Jacob’s story could help people understand that the soul is what is most important.

The second story which follows this one is from my friends’ Joe and Sharon Olson and their son Matthew. The name Matthew means, “gift from God.” I myself have not met Matthew, but my daughter and grand children have met Matthew and they will never forget him.

The Lord gave me these stories to remind us that even before we are born God gave us a soul and there is a design and purpose for everyone’s life.  No one knows what could have been God’s plan for those who were aborted.

Jeremiah 1: 5

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you.

JACOB

By Carol Frient

Why did God make people with Down’s syndrome?  Carol said, “the answer like the person is pure and simple.  He left for us a pure example of love incarnate!!!”  Jacob is my son of 30 years, was born in 1990.  He really has not grown up in the sense that we look at grown-ups.  He has no prejudice, he has no greed, he has no desire to be right always, he has no desire to prove anything.  He has no HATE, only love for EVERYONE. He has no fear, he only has boundless trust.  He has never ending enthusiasm for everyone and every situation.  He never puts himself first but is always thinking of the other.  He has great empathy.  He hears everything and responds with great love.  He understands when someone is hurting and thinks of the kindest and most simple thing he can do to help, like bringing water to his mom at night when she is suffering from a bladder infection and needs to drink more.  Somehow, he picks up on this and brings me a drink of water while I am in bed.  He aims to soothe when someone is hurting.  He found the song, “10,000 REASONS,” for me when I was hurting after my husband died.  He found a song I had never heard before.  My husband was a singer and music minister and one of the lines in the song is, “My soul will sing your praise unending ten thousand years and then for evermore.”  That line and the song felt so appropriate and comforting.

Jacob loves music and is always singing.  He sings in his own way about his dad.  I am sure he misses him.  His name was Jack like the Jack in Titanic who drowned after the boat went down and his girlfriend was saved.  She let him slip into the water and away from her.  Jacob my son sings, “MY HEART WILL GO ON,” from Titanic.  This is Jacob’s way of keeping his dad’s memory alive.  He sings it proud and strong and loud and somewhat off key, but you will never hear it sung without heart, (even if you cannot make out every word)!  Jacob even tries to remind us of his dad by singing the AVE MARIA.

He plays music and can maneuver anything on his cell phone.  He can record music and then add his voice or drumming to it and replay it with his own touches.

Jacob does not know what racism is.  He does not know what “evening the score” is.  He does not pay any attention to skin color – he only looks inside the person with love and enthusiasm.

During COVID-19, I realized that Jacob did not understand social distancing. I am not sure what Jesus would do, but I know when Jacob saw his friend Rachel from dance class at a local restaurant, he ran to her and she ran to him with equal enthusiasm and they hugged with great abandon.  They did not get sick.  The rest of the restaurant was being very proper with their masks and their 6 feet of distancing. That is not to say that if I tell him to, he will not wear a mask.  He tries not to high five and offers an elbow instead, and he wears gloves and washes his hands.  He does understand that we are in a Pandemic with illness but seeing Rachel was too much.  It brought a smile to my face to see him so happy.  I wish I could be more like him, trusting, open and kind to everyone - no holds barred anywhere.  Thanks God, for providing people of pure love!!!

Psalm 139:13-16  For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Matthew

By Sharon and Joe Olson

Sharon:

In November 1982, we were a happy family with two beautiful daughters, ages 4 and 8.  I just was not quite ready to get rid of all the baby clothes and paraphernalia.  We decided to try for another baby.  As with the first two children I became pregnant quickly and had an easy pregnancy.  At this time in New Jersey, because I was 34, I had to be counseled during the first two months to be tested for birth defects, especially Down Syndrome.  I stated that I would not have an abortion if the test was positive, so I refused the test.

Matthew was born Aug. 3, 1983, and I thought how amazing to have a boy join our two girls.  The next morning a pediatrician came into my room and explained that Matthew had Down Syndrome and asked if I knew what that meant.  He went on to say that we did not have to take Matthew home with us, “there were places for children like Matthew.”  He was kept in the back of the nursery where no one could see him.  We were out of the hospital with Matthew in less than 24 hours.  At a week-old Matthew was diagnosed with a serious heart condition and had surgery.  He was in the hospital from Oct. 15th to Dec. 20th, 1984, and over the years has had ongoing complications.

We were surrounded by a loving community who supported us and helped us begin our new journey and all of us devoted time to helping Matthew learn things that we had taken for granted with our girls; like how to roll over, sit, walk, and talk.  All of these milestones came later than was considered ”normal,” but they did come.  The learning delays were becoming our new normal.  I realized how amazing every little step forward was.  I wished I would have seen this with our girls.

We feel without hesitation that Matthew has brought us closer to God and what is important in life.  We do not look at life as being difficult, but rather how situations can make us stronger and better persons.  Matthew has taught us patience and to never give up.  Some things just take longer than we would like them to - all in God’s time!  We cannot imagine life without Matthew!

Matthew is love and joy and wisdom and we named him Matthew because it means Gift of God.  The outcome for us has been a constant gift of joy.  After having a conversation with Matthew, you cannot help but come away a better person with a smile on your face and in your heart.  He loves everyone and sees everyone as the same.  He has never met a person he did not accept with innocence and love.  He knows who he is and is perfectly happy in his being.  His happiness and joy are contagious for all who encounter him.  He is really a touchstone for us to keep focused on the important things like love and relationships, especially when we get bogged down in the details.  Our life would be much less joyful and hope-filled without Matthew.

Matthew calls every day to check on us to make sure we are okay.  He was a server at Mass for many years where I am known as, “Oh you must be Matthew’s mother or father” and then follows a conversation of how wonderful he is and how he does such a great job serving.  He loves to talk, and everyone loves to talk with him.  He also is the first to want to help someone.  A friend of Matthew’s needed financial help and he gave him all his savings without any expectation of being repaid.  When we explained he should not have done that, he reminded us of what our priest had said in Mass about caring for the poor and helping a friend!  Even though Matthew is the youngest, he worries about his sisters and their children and is very generous on birthdays and Christmas.  We worry about Matthew as we do our daughters. We want them all to be happy, to make a positive contribution to the world, to know God and to know they are special.  When you look into Matthew’s eyes, you see into his soul, and it is beautiful.

 We are very proud of our three children.  We cannot imagine life without Matthew just the way he is.